Relationships..no,I'm not talking about the committed,single,complicated stuff that people put up online for other people to read...Not the cliché that every possible human being is so bothered about.
Let us remember, what you share with your parent is a relationship, what you share with a friend is one, why what you share with a dog you play with everyday is a relationship. You may call it anything but at the very base, a relationship is emotion..the presence or absence of it..the feeling related to it.. When we were 5 yrs old, my best friend essay had a person of the same sex and about what u play together..with years, these distinguishing lines vanish.
It is true that you find your true friends in times of adversities,betrayal and sadness. Not that the person who is the reason for sadness is not your friend, but a person who just existed in your life till then, gave u all the support you could have wished for is..and its not in terms of how much time you spend with a person that they become your 'best' friend..that is hardly the parameter..nor is the fact that one of them knows all your secrets..its the trust you would have in a person on a subconscious level..its what you feel about that person..and although it is a known fact that emotions are intangible, sometimes,they are so overwhelming that you cannot define a relationship as any of the ones that you know..
I happened to see 2 movies which were based on friendship between a boy and a girl..in one, this has to turn into love..in the other,they argue that girls and boys would remain friends no matter what..What I don't get is why does it have to be defined as two distinct categories? I mean, calling someone an acquaintance, a friend,good friend,best friend is something we have done all these years without realizing we are trying to measure emotions.. I realize,what a friend can be and is expected to be can never be encompassed and must not be too.
And with people, there are these moments, some occasions when something transpires or something is done or something is felt which may have given you such an emotional high but is just inexplicable. Leave it that way. At times, the more you try to delve into it , the magical nature of it is lost. If it made you happy, preserve it at someplace at the back of your mind rather than questioning its very existence.
Going back to the two cases...rather than classifying people as close, not close or whatever, just let your instincts take over at times. You needn't but can always tell someone you consider your "best" friend whatever you feel; but there isn't a reason why you shouldn't trust someone else just because your heart says so. Some things are best left just understood. Some things must be done on a whim because they are meant to be so.
The friends forever thing that people keep saying..It is a farce. No, I'm not being negative. But think. You say that you learn with time, with experiences. It may not change the basic person that you are, but it will and definitely will change your outlook about almost everything (yes, a personal experience :P )
And sometimes that is why, some person might be a happy and a very important part of your life for just some time. No matter how much you may try after the period where both of you had so many reasons to meet, it may not happen. Even if you were good friends but opinions have changed over a period of time, that comfort level may just have gone. Do not embitter what was a good time. I think we should develop the mind frame to not spoil what was a good time cuz trust me, you must hold on to every good time possible cuz when you go through trying times, its these good times that make sure you're sane at the end of it. So move on! Think of the good times and rejoice that you had them at all and accept the changes.
Where as with some people, maybe you are just meant to be. You are just meant to grow up with them, be with them, share with them everything. You'll trust them within the blink of a eye and it may be the best decision you've taken. Sometimes, instinctivity is the way to go, it makes you believe in life when it turns out good.
People may not be the best thing out here but they are definitely something we cannot live without. Where there are people, there are relationships, there are bursts of happiness and moments of disappointment too. Learn to live with both and life becomes a journey all of us just can't wait to experience further. :)
12 comments:
i so wanted to write a post on this, but always refrained.
finally, i just want to add, your relationship with your parents is something that can never go wrong. how many of your friends have you left behind? you always lose contact with people. you change, poeple change. some people who are always with you is your family. i can go on and on, but not in a writing mood.
You are one insightful little lady!
Well written :)
wow.. loved one particular line a lottt... "Do not embitter what was a good time." true! true! :)
very very well written. A simple yet brilliant thought
@harshad: sometimes, a relationship with your parent can go wring due to difference in opinions when you consider urself old enough to make some and they aren't the same as your parents...that i will speak about in a different post,but i agree, its most likely not to go wrong.
@pratap: honoured :)
@nisha: haha me too
@pranav: thanks again :D
Nice. You should realize I can discuss this At Length with you. Maybe we must have-in bits and parts.
Two things.
Some things must be done on a whim because they are meant to be so.
Where as with some people, maybe you are just meant to be.Growing up or not,you just enjoy some people.
Boy-girl-girl-boy is stupidly glamorized in movies. They know when it is and when it is not. And what better than have a friend to also be someone who end up loving. Good thing no. Those stupid romantic indications of baadlon ka khadaknaa and dharti ka fat jaana will not happen-saving lot of lives ! :P
@shraddha: like u said, we must discuss this at length.. there are so many aspects to it that can be spoken about on and on but it would sound repetitive in writing...its just that its impossible to stick to one definition when it comes to emotion as it changes with every person..baaki we'll discuss in person :D
simply superb ! :D
Nicely done :)
I love the way blogs see a rise in updates during exam time! :P
Relationships are a part and parcel of life for sure, but sometimes you need to be smart enough to pick the ones right for you. Not all of them can be adapted with.
First, the friends forever bit is the 'new' you. I guess incidents/instances along the way will only reinforce such beliefs, even if a few exceptions exist. It is these exceptions that we yearn for, and end up defining as true friendship.
Secondly, the boy-girl thing. It is bound to happen, unless circumstances force you otherwise. I agree with shraddha on the bit that "And what better than have a friend to also be someone who you end up loving".
Third, the instinctiveness (it isnt a word) you talk about while trusting people is what i find most intriguing. It's like you already know whether this person is worthy of trust or not, and subsequently you make efforts to cement the bond further. A gain a matter of reciprocation from both sides.
The only bit i did not agree to was "Do not embitter what was a good time." Or maybe i still haven't found justification for the same :|
Thoughtful reads, as always :D
@divya,ashmita:thanks
@cinjal:
Yes,that is as u wud say the "new" me. And the boy-girl thing..
of course,that would be an amazing thing to happen and it is bound to but there are instances when they dont and yet that kind of a relationship is as special.
And totally agree with the instinct thing,reciprocation is the only thing that can strengthen it(i just used the word instinctiveness in the flow of emotion :P)
and its the "new" me again saying abt the embitter part.Its the best thing I learnt and i hope its justified soon for you and it will
very well written..insightful indeed
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