Sex And The City

That's what we called ourselves. Weirdly, only two of us being the faithful fans, me who lost interest within the first season (that too was a lot, I think it lasted because of Namrata's influence) and Ashwini who still has no clue about the show at all. Of course, a year ago, I would have cringed to be referred to as that, just as much as I cringed about taking selfies and clicking photographs wherever we go, but I guess I have come to love them after all. Because it wasn't about references. It was about the people I had come to love. It was just a way of identifying ourselves and never the identity by itself. The feeling of knowing I belonged somewhere. We came from different places, struggling to find our place here, honestly not knowing how to go about life and waiting for the day we could get rid of this place. The four of us being brought together, was light at the end of a dark tunnel. For each of us. In one way or the other, this group made us believe that life as we knew it in Hyderabad (dead), had ended. This city didn't suck anymore. And it's because of them.

There is something about having girlfriends. The last time I had them, they were just about the only friends I had ever had in my life. They're the ones you need, the only ones to whom you can show your vulnerable side, the side that you judge yourself about, the one where you want to cry, not because you're a stupid girl but because, to be strong to everyone else, you need to be able to tell someone it's not easy. Those to whom when you tell how you felt when someone hurt you, they go “I know!” and you know they know it; and for once you are thankful you aren’t screaming your lungs out or giving up on trying to explain it. Where hugs came whenever it was needed, without even the mention of needing one. Where hugs were demanded too and they came the same way. If I could only explain how big a deal that is.

I'm not the kind who commands attention, forget asking for it. You won't find me making subtle (or not-so-subtle as so many I wish would realize) gestures to something I want someone to ask me about. I keep waiting until I am disappointed, as usual. But these girls, they filled me with love and over-the-top attention, jumping to my rescue the moment there was even a hint of disappointment about anything. There was this one time, where we made a sudden plan to go to 10D and I wasn’t wearing quite the appropriate clothes for the place. Usually, I would act as though it doesn’t matter but in my own head, feel bad about not looking as good as the ones around me. But these girls, Oh God, put me before themselves, gave me a dress to wear, put make-up on me (needless to say, something that I know freakishly too less about) and made me look just so good. The thing is, it isn’t even about dressing up. It is the fact that ‘they’ make you want to feel so good about yourself. I think for the first time ever in my life, and I mean it, I realized I no longer have an inferiority complex about myself, about the way I look. And I owe a lot of it to these girls. Honestly, I still have my days ( most of them really :P) where I’m wearing my loosest possible Beatles T-shirt, earphones plugged in and walking around like a duck in my worn out blue Nike chappals ( those that Eshita absolutely detests and has been waiting for the moment to throw away :P), but I’m sure when I say I have come a long way and I’m a lot more Preetish* about it, they agree. :)

Of course, all of our night-outs, the breakfasts after, those times when things were said without having to think twice, all those confessions, interventions, the most embarrassing stories and to laugh at them within ourselves( yes, yes, you can give up on raising your hand now!). The compliments I get from my girls does more than its worth of share, who the hell needs a boyfriend for that! And that we manage to paint a very very boring town red, I believe, is an achievement in itself.

This was such a lovely place, and such an awesome lunch :)

They never let me feel left out ever. I never had to try to fit in. There was never the dearth of love. They made me feel important even though it probably wasn't my time to feel so. This Thursday was amazing in more ways than one. It had the one thing that all four of us love, karaoke. There was just so much happiness. And I knew in that moment, when Namrao entered and we were all hugging and being all excited, singing those songs; that they would always be there for me, despite all my weirdness, those with whom I can be free, to take care of me when I'm down, to assure me that life would always get better and to never give up on me irrespective of what happens.

Few things come to my mind when I think about them. Ashwini's face with her crinkled up nose when she is so happy when her favourite song turns up. Eshita, with all of her innocence and sweetness and yet all that threatening you never knew she had in her, and yet all that caring you would die for. And of course Namrata, it doesn't matter that you are stinky and sleepy, you have to put that liner and lipstick on when she hands it to you, no questions asked.

Today, Ashwini left Hyderabad to follow her dreams; and there was a void that was suddenly created. The three of us were looking so awkwardly at each other, feeling the same thing. But we had always known this moment was coming. Where each of us would leave to follow our respective paths and dreams. That we spent so much time together and made it worth all that while, is what matters. Be it dancing (or should I say twerking :P) to Scream and Shout, discussing GRE words, fake Christmas, dressed up lunches or even making a failed outing into an awesome party at home with disco lights using the flash of a phone, we have done it all. For me, it has been one of the most special inexplicable bonds ever. I love you girls just so much. I can already see us in the future, meeting over lunch, obviously dressed well( do you believe I just said that?! :D) and talking about our husbands, kids, work and life that would be then. Until then, SATC shall be remembered fondly, and to which I dedicate this song in memory of all our 10D visits.

*Preetish - Defined as the level of excitement that only Preeti Ramaraj has ever been capable of displaying, irrespective of whatever it may be. Did I get it right? :)