I just watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It is a long time since a movie made me this emotional. Or maybe again its the time, the fact that I've been thinking about this so often nowadays and this movie comes and emphasizes exactly what I feel.
Memories are soooo important. The reason I survive. Or anyone survives. I remember things exactly the way they happened and remember every conversation word by word and every background is etched in my brain. I just need to think and I'm back in the place. So many things that have happened that have had so much significance in my life. Every word that was said to me, every emotion that was not even spoken yet was conveyed. Every word that made me feel wanted and loved in an otherwise alone world. Now when I leave, I cannot imagine surviving the rest of my life without these. At any point, I just have to close my eyes and relive even if not happy but that time of my life when I felt I am just so perfectly satisfied and I have no qualms at all. It matters so much that you tell people what you feel, how much you love them and not just keep saying that in your head. It matters so much that you give people a chance to love you and know you like never before. It matters so much that you might not have anything of what you wanted but what you did get is so precious that it becomes the main reason of your living.
Keep doing everything possible to hold on to these. These are that will help you pass through. They will make you cry, yeah, but that's what keeps you from turning into a stone. Every single thing that has ever touched you, keep it close, close to your heart, never let it go. Let the bitterness fade away but the good ones, those have to stay. Write it down, save it somewhere if you must and go find it on a rainy day, nothing like those memories to take you back. Or maybe I'm a little hopeless that way, lost in the past perennially in spite of living in the present. Call me romantic, call me crazy but then we all need that madness to survive. I think I am too sleepy and sounding high without actually being high so I'm gonna take your leave with deep thoughts running in my head.
Memories are soooo important. The reason I survive. Or anyone survives. I remember things exactly the way they happened and remember every conversation word by word and every background is etched in my brain. I just need to think and I'm back in the place. So many things that have happened that have had so much significance in my life. Every word that was said to me, every emotion that was not even spoken yet was conveyed. Every word that made me feel wanted and loved in an otherwise alone world. Now when I leave, I cannot imagine surviving the rest of my life without these. At any point, I just have to close my eyes and relive even if not happy but that time of my life when I felt I am just so perfectly satisfied and I have no qualms at all. It matters so much that you tell people what you feel, how much you love them and not just keep saying that in your head. It matters so much that you give people a chance to love you and know you like never before. It matters so much that you might not have anything of what you wanted but what you did get is so precious that it becomes the main reason of your living.
Keep doing everything possible to hold on to these. These are that will help you pass through. They will make you cry, yeah, but that's what keeps you from turning into a stone. Every single thing that has ever touched you, keep it close, close to your heart, never let it go. Let the bitterness fade away but the good ones, those have to stay. Write it down, save it somewhere if you must and go find it on a rainy day, nothing like those memories to take you back. Or maybe I'm a little hopeless that way, lost in the past perennially in spite of living in the present. Call me romantic, call me crazy but then we all need that madness to survive. I think I am too sleepy and sounding high without actually being high so I'm gonna take your leave with deep thoughts running in my head.
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