Broken Cellphone

I learnt that a lost heart may not be very far from a lost cellphone.

You keep waiting for it to come back to you,

Telling yourself you'll be better with it,

More careful, more loving,

More aware that it exists,

You wouldn't take it for granted,

Not that you did before.

You go around looking,

Hoping for one last glance,

One last effort to do everything it takes,

But it is gone.

And you feel broken, devastated,

All that loss of time and effort,

You just want to give up

And you do.

And then you receive a call,

"Your lost cellphone has been found..

But it is so broken,

It looks like it has been crushed by a car."

If I could only count the number of times,

My heart felt crushed by the pain of its loss,

When it knew it was broken and yet,

It refused to let go.

But, they are different.

Because even when so broken,

That call,  the sight of that cellphone,

Provided me closure to move on.

But a broken heart?

That's a wound you're gonna have to heal all by yourself.

The real me

For 24 years I lived,

Believing I am who they told me to be,

Who they told me I really was.

A people lover

A mother figure

A kind soul

A happy woman

A dependable friend

All positive, all adjectives

That you couldn't possibly complain about

Or could you?

And here I am,

Living in a world where I didn't

Have to be anything they said I had to be,

I am all the things they didn't ever say I would be.

Sad, angry, frustrated, truthful, lonely, inappropriate, lustful, nerdy and quiet.

This is what seems closest to my discovery of me,

To feel all that I could never feel;

I no longer care about what they ever said or will ever have to say,

All I know and care about

Is that I am the real me today.